Personal Life

Struggling to Manage My Weight

I am continuing to struggle with my weight this year. In August 2017, I finally got down to 200lbs. I started at 225lbs after the birth of my second son. I gained 70lbs while I was pregnant. FML…Then my Dad died and it threw my entire world off balance.

Here we are in January and I’m almost at the same weight I was after giving birth to my second child: 215 lbs. Womp womp. It’s discouraging at times,  but then I remember I need to have grace for myself.

I think I wear 215 lbs well, but still…I want to get back to where I was.
I want to get back to the girl on the right. I was 236lbs in the picture on the left and 160lbs in the picture on the right.

I’ve realized though that a lot happened this past year and sometimes food is the way I cope. Why? Because food makes me happy. You know people say “Don’t reward yourself with food, you are not a dog.” But to those people I say shove it. I like food, and there are times when food is an accurate reward.


There is nothing quite like the reward of a salty bag of chips after a long day. A long day in which you did not throat punch anyone, or tell anyone to go f*** themselves. Sometimes those days require a reward, i.e. salty chips.

All that being said, it seems I need to change the nature of my relationship with food.

My goal weight: 170 lbs. The smallest I have gotten down to was 158 lbs, but I don’t think I want to be that small again. I also don’t think that is a sustainable weight for me. I would rather be 170lbs with a little bit of muscle on me.

I have lost weight before so I know I can do it again, but man each time it gets a little harder to do.

In 2012 I lost 80 lbs on Weight Watchers. Between weight watchers and running 20 miles a week the weight melted off. The running routine was hard to maintain once I had two kids instead of one though.

It is time to come up with a plan and some strategies to get the weight under control. One thing that I have been doing is not eating after 7:30 p.m. I might move that time up to 7:00. So far I’m doing well with that habit.

The Plan:

–> Workout Monday-Thursday or at least three days/week

–> Eat less carbs but not completely low carb

–> Track food using Lose It app. This is the most user friendly free app I have found to track food on

LoseIt thumbnail
Here is what the interface looks like. The app icon is a picture of a scale.

–> Get at least 10,000 steps a day

–> No food after 7:30 p.m.

I have to fight for every single pound I lose, and sometimes I think its just not fair. Then I remember losing weight doesn’t come easy to anyone. Just look at majority of America. As my boyfriend reminds me I don’t need to catastrophize and act like things are worse for me than they are for everyone else.

I am working for this, not because I want to be thin, but because I hate feeling heavy and feeling like crap when I don’t take care of myself.

And because everything is better with humor, prepare yourself for a lot of weight loss memes.

Funny Meme


Brave Bonnie








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