Personal Life

Another School Shooting…

Y’all my heart is broken and Wednesday night I wept for children that are not even mine and for parents that I don’t even know.

If you  haven’t heard yet there was a school shooting in Benton Kentucky on Tuesday. Two people were killed and 18 people were injured. Not to mention the countless amounts of people who will be emotionally injured/scarred for the rest of their lives.

This school shooting in Kentucky has me shook. Shook because every time I hear about something like this happening I think about my own children and how powerless I would be to protect them in a situation like that.

My boys

I want to forever shield my boys from pain and from suffering but I know that is unrealistic. Shielding them from pain and from suffering will not help them grow. Coddling them will only turn them into weak adults. Yet still I wish I could absorb every bit of pain they will ever endure. 

And every time something like this happens I think of the tragedies that have come before it…Sandy Hook pops to the forefront of my mind. I could not imagine. I shudder to think what it must have been like for those parents to bury there once active, loud, talkative, and energetic toddlers. I wonder how people survive something so tragic.

Last year I lost my Dad and it turned my entire world upside down. It has been six months since he died and some days I feel like I will always carry around a small cloud of grief. That even on days when the sun shines the brightest and I am having the time of my life I will always have a pang of sadness.

Thanksgiving 2015
Thanksgiving 2015

 

I lost a Dad, I could not imagine losing a child. I find myself all the time saying “I just need this to make more sense. I need it all to mean something.” I drive myself crazy because there doesn’t seem to be any order in the chaos. It puts a hopelessness in my heart that I cannot shake sometimes.

Wednesday night when I picked Jacob up from work, as we sat in my car I sobbed and told him how I really needed life to make more sense. How it still blows my mind that someone can be there one minute talking to you, laughing, living, and breathing, and the next minute they’re gone. That’s what happened with my Dad. We laughed, we made jokes, and we cut up like we always do until all hell broke loose and a few hours later he was gone.

Sometimes in my hopelessness I ask, what can we do in the face of such evil and chaos? And then a still small voice reminded me that “Kindness creates a ripple effect.”

I don’t know that child’s motive for walking into his school and opening fire on his classmates. But I would argue that you do have to be a certain level of lonely and sad to want to kill other human beings. Either that or you’re just a psychopath, which that is possible too. But believing that kindness creates a ripple effect provides me with a certain amount of hope. Hope that being kind may impact someones life in a major way even though it’s such a small thing.

So what can we do in the face of such chaos? We can be kind and hope that it changes someone’s life for the better.

be-kind

Brave Bonnie

 

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