migraines, Personal Life

Eff You Migraines

Migraine Meme Morpheus

I just finished up migraine number two this week and nothing makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide more than a migraine.

Lets recap shall we? I’m not talking about a bad headache that disappears once you’ve popped a few extra strength Tylenols or Excedrin and drank a large coke.

If only they were that easy.

Friday’s migraine started as mine always do, with visual disturbance that slowly expands outward until I can barely see. At this stage in the migraine, driving is hazardous and just downright dangerous.

This was my second one this week having had one on Monday. I am a positive, optimistic,  glass half full kind of girl, but Friday when I experienced my second migraine of the week I lost it. Cue hysterical crying, shaking hands, and extreme anxiety. Why? Because I knew what was coming once the aura subsided (this is what the visual disturbance is called at the onset of a migraine.)

What comes once my vision returns? Pounding headache, extreme nausea, dizziness, and numbness in my left arm and the left side of my face. I usually feel like I’m on the brink of death.

I have them so often, that I have gotten to the point where I just attempt to push through them and stay at work. However, with Friday’s I was like eff it, I’m going home.

Why would I stay at work you may be wondering? Because I have so many migraines that if I left work every time I got sick I would probably get fired. People are sympathetic the first few times but if you’re a chronic migraine sufferer you know that eventually people’s sympathy turns to wonder as they wonder how anyone can have that many debilitating headaches so often?

Praise God for my man though. When Monday’s migraine hit he was out of town so I had to struggle through that one alone, but Friday he had just gotten home the night before so he was there to help me. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a caring, compassionate, empathetic partner but that is exactly who he is. So in between my sobs and hysterical crying J assured me everything was going to be fine. “I’ve got you,” he said. “You’re going to be alright.”

Spring 2018

And although I felt like death for majority of the day, J was right there waiting on me hand and foot. Dr. J did not leave my side. God I love this man.

I am a solution oriented person and so as I slowly started to recover I wanted to try to find some things I could do to try to minimize my next attack. I have always believed my migraine attacks were food related but I’m starting to believe they are not.

I am starting to see a pattern more with my migraines being triggered when I’m extremely tired or when I wake up first thing in the morning. I also think I may have sleep apnea as J has told me that I snore sometimes and I stop breathing when I’m sleeping (sexy I know).

I am an information junkie and I started doing a little research. And apparently there is a correlation between my extreme daytime fatigue and my migraines. The extreme fatigue during the day may be caused by the sleep apnea. I also may be experiencing more migraines because the sleep apnea causes disturbances in my sleep cycle.

Here are a few things I put in place Friday night before going to bed…

  1. I bought some breathe right strips to help open up my airways when I’m sleeping
  2. I used breathe essential oil as well in an attempt to open up my airways and minimize snoring
  3. I started a sleep journal/migraine log to keep track of how I feel each morning and what the quality of my sleep was the night before

I also realized that I may be drinking my Plexus too late in the day. For the first two months I was on Plexus it helped pretty much obliterate my migraines. I usually would drink it in the morning before breakfast.

For whatever reason, two weeks ago I switched to drinking it at work around 10:00 and have noticed an increase in my migraine attacks so I am also experimenting with swapping it back to the mornings before breakfast.

I hate migraines and I will get these under control if it is the last thing I do. I REFUSE to let these headaches and the anxiety that follows them control my life.

Hugs,

Bria

P.S. If you love coffee, wine, or mascara then you may consider joining my Facebook group “Mommy Needs Coffee, Wine, & Mascara.” We share a lot of laughs, mom jokes, and real life in this group. Join in on the fun. You can do that HERE.

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Body Positivity, Personal Life

Weight Loss Struggles

Jesus calories

Y’all…I’m getting real sick and tired of food having calories.

I am holding steady at 230lbs and no matter what I do, I cannot summon the willpower to lose weight. The last time I lost weight it was only because I wanted to look better in photos. THAT’S IT!

The hard thing for me now is that no matter what size I’m at, when I look at myself in the mirror I think I look fantastic <3. I’m not sure where this over confidence came from.

When I lost weight before I legitimately looked at myself in the mirror and said you look sloppy you need to lose some weight (side note: I am not NEARLY that mean to myself now).

SelfieJune
I mean I just look at her and I like her!

 

Maybe it’s because the first time I lost weight, even though I had lost 80lbs I was still miserable and really mean to myself. It was like no amount of weight I lost was enough. Y’all I legitimately DO NOT want to go back to that place.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the health risks that come with being 5’4″ and 230lbs. I get it. But even still I’m just not motivated.

My days of trying to replace regular pasta with spaghetti squash are behind me. It makes me miserable even thinking about making that substitution. For sure NO!

I am currently taking Plexus for my migraines. Plexus is a weight loss supplement but it “technically” only works in combination with a healthy diet…imagine that. On the plus side I went from 2-3 migraines a week down to like 1 a month. I still don’t quite understand the science behind that but as a migraine sufferer I’ll take it.

Some habits that I have stuck with since my From Fluff 2 Fit days (that was the name of my weight loss blog):

  1. Weigh myself weekly
  2. Drink half my body weight in ounces of water a day
  3. Workout 2-3 times a week

One new habit I’ve added in: Walking 10,00 steps a day. Jacob my boyfriend bought me a Fitbit a few months back and it has been a game changer as far as how much I walk during the day.

The hard thing to let go of is that I used to be skinny. Sigh…. I also have a hard time letting go of how easy it felt the first time. I was SOOO motivated. This time I’m just not mentally prepared to go through that again.

gymselfie2014
160lbs in 2014

I have a few friends who have done Whole 30, but when I think about starting that it just makes me depressed. I already have really thin patience and its even thinner when I’m hungry. I just really don’t want to subject the people I love to that!

I don’t know friends. I wish I had some parting piece of guidance about losing weight and being healthy, but I’ve got nothing.

All I’ve got is we can be fluffy together! Come on over and I’ll pour us a glass of wine and fry us some hot wings (Yes I realize these things don’t go together but its two of my favorite things and as this is my blog I can pair whatever I choose!)

If you’re struggling with fluctuating weight, I’m with you and maybe one day we will figure it out.

Hugs,

Bria

P.S. If you love coffee, wine, or mascara then you may consider joining my Facebook group “Mommy Needs Coffee, Wine, & Mascara.” We share a lot of laughs, mom jokes, and real life in this group. Join in on the fun. You can do that HERE.