Y’all…I’m getting real sick and tired of food having calories.
I am holding steady at 230lbs and no matter what I do, I cannot summon the willpower to lose weight. The last time I lost weight it was only because I wanted to look better in photos. THAT’S IT!
The hard thing for me now is that no matter what size I’m at, when I look at myself in the mirror I think I look fantastic <3. I’m not sure where this over confidence came from.
When I lost weight before I legitimately looked at myself in the mirror and said you look sloppy you need to lose some weight (side note: I am not NEARLY that mean to myself now).
Maybe it’s because the first time I lost weight, even though I had lost 80lbs I was still miserable and really mean to myself. It was like no amount of weight I lost was enough. Y’all I legitimately DO NOT want to go back to that place.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the health risks that come with being 5’4″ and 230lbs. I get it. But even still I’m just not motivated.
My days of trying to replace regular pasta with spaghetti squash are behind me. It makes me miserable even thinking about making that substitution. For sure NO!
I am currently taking Plexus for my migraines. Plexus is a weight loss supplement but it “technically” only works in combination with a healthy diet…imagine that. On the plus side I went from 2-3 migraines a week down to like 1 a month. I still don’t quite understand the science behind that but as a migraine sufferer I’ll take it.
Some habits that I have stuck with since my From Fluff 2 Fit days (that was the name of my weight loss blog):
- Weigh myself weekly
- Drink half my body weight in ounces of water a day
- Workout 2-3 times a week
One new habit I’ve added in: Walking 10,00 steps a day. Jacob my boyfriend bought me a Fitbit a few months back and it has been a game changer as far as how much I walk during the day.
The hard thing to let go of is that I used to be skinny. Sigh…. I also have a hard time letting go of how easy it felt the first time. I was SOOO motivated. This time I’m just not mentally prepared to go through that again.
I have a few friends who have done Whole 30, but when I think about starting that it just makes me depressed. I already have really thin patience and its even thinner when I’m hungry. I just really don’t want to subject the people I love to that!
I don’t know friends. I wish I had some parting piece of guidance about losing weight and being healthy, but I’ve got nothing.
All I’ve got is we can be fluffy together! Come on over and I’ll pour us a glass of wine and fry us some hot wings (Yes I realize these things don’t go together but its two of my favorite things and as this is my blog I can pair whatever I choose!)
If you’re struggling with fluctuating weight, I’m with you and maybe one day we will figure it out.
P.S. If you love coffee, wine, or mascara then you may consider joining my Facebook group “Mommy Needs Coffee, Wine, & Mascara.” We share a lot of laughs, mom jokes, and real life in this group. Join in on the fun. You can do that HERE.